soy sauce, time travel, and proper respect
Moving very slowly, drinking lots of water. (That could be a Talking Heads lyric.) I played things fairly tame last night, but let me give you a little nutrition tip: beer and cheese fries do not a whole day's worth of food make. Cheese fries are tasty, yes. But cheese fries have their megalomaniacal side: they want to colonize your whole digestive system. Cheese fries won't be happy until, like a virus, they’ve permeated and colonized every cell. The sun never sets on the cheese fry empire. You, as peasant, as noble savage, are welcome to hang on to your little folk traditions and colorful native dances, but the cheese fries are in charge, and all you can do is wait it out. History will not absolve the cheese fries.
Kat and I drank at Black Beetle, where the cheese fries were consumed (but let us speak no more of them). Upon arrival I was a little alarmed because all the lights were on and the soundtrack to The Wizard of Oz was playing on the stereo. But the too-many-facial-piercings bartender (as in, literally running out of dangly bits on the face to put holes through) quickly put things to rights, apologizing for the bar's slackitude (this was a full half-hour after they had supposedly opened) and darkening things (lights, music) down to an acceptable level. Kat arrived bearing gifts, which was totally unnecessary, but appreciated: and now I own the 2002 version of that Medieval Word-A-Day calendar, so y'all can suffer through my antique word obsession for another year, or for at least as long as I continue to post sweet (and bitter) nothings on the Web.
FOODS WITH COURTESY TITLES
Mr Potato Head (not really a food)
I can't think of any others right now. If you enjoy pointless searches and come across more, let me know. I’m rejecting things like “Dr,” “Aunt,” etc, and focusing mostly on Mrs/Miss/Ms/Mr. There's a Chinese restaurant in Ravenswood called Ms Eggroll, but apparently they have no web presence. I like that place, though, because (1) the black bean garlic sauce is fantastic; (2) their forward-thinking use of “Ms”; and (3) I think that they travel through some sort of space fabric wormhole to deliver your food, often arriving at the door mere minutes after you hang up the phone.
So Albert Einstein and Kip Thorne are sharing some chicken fried rice…
—mimi smartypants