genomic gnomic
Agggggggh why did I not really sleep last night? This is how it sounds in my brain: alksjeoriejskdlsjdflksgggghhhkkkkkk.
Toward dawn I did pass out for a while and had a dream about adopting two cats named Oblong and Crud, which are weird names for cats but sound pretty good all paired up like that. Someone please draw a comic with characters named Oblong and Crud. They don’t have to be cats, I just like the name combination.
This is my last week with all my intestines. I hope it’s not weird to be a little sentimental. I have had these intestines a long time! I went to the hospital to get blood taken and cotton swabs shoved up my nose, I guess that was to see if I’m “colonized” with MRSA. Turns out I’m not colonized with anything but AWESOME, so that’s a relief. I am supposed to stop taking fish oil, drinking green tea, and using “recreational or street drugs” as of today. Three of my favorite things, seriously. And then I have to stop eating altogether the day before the surgery, which is also something I enjoy. Darn.
For someone who worries about a lot of stuff, I am surprisingly not worried about surgery. I don’t know if that’s due to Lexapro or just that something planned and scheduled and relatively routine (for the surgeon, anyway) is mentally easier to cope with than something baffling, painful, and sudden (like my repeated emergency obstructions).
I do have to remember to remind LT that in case of emergency I want ALL KINDS of “heroic measures.” No DNRs for this lady, I have a little kid. I have to top up the Netflix list and make sure I have plenty of reading material at home. I am a little concerned about being away from work for a week, but I suppose the world of medical publishing can survive without me for a week or so. Other than those things, I am ready.
Maybe it’s just my mood, but I have been noticing a lot of things lately that are sort of adorable and annoying at the same time. The Germans probably have a word for that.
1. The chipmunk* who keeps taking one bite out of each ripe tomato in our tiny vegetable garden: adorable! annoying!
*For real, an actual, Disney-style chipmunk. I assumed it was a rat, given our urban location, until I actually saw the cute little fucker.
2. The lone protester (maybe the aloneness makes it less “protester” and more “nutball”) who sometimes stands at State and Grand in white pants with the crotch dyed red, holding signs condemning infant circumcision. Annoying! But also kind of adorable, to give up your entire day to try and convert pedestrians to your position on baby penises.
3. The acquaintance of mine who repeatedly states that her MAIN reason for homeschooling is that it is way too hard to be someplace at a certain time every day. I don’t personally consider being a feeble ditzy pseudo-adult adorable, but there is a certain segment of popular culture that does, so we can go ahead and label it. But also annoying! Because no one cares!
4. The way that Nora, who has a locker with a combination lock for the first time this year, gave me a very detailed verbal tutorial on how to open a combination lock. Somewhat annoying, since I already know how to open a combination lock. But mostly adorable, and I was able to keep my “oh, that’s very fascinating” face on for the entire speech.
To paraphrase Lawrence Oates, “I may be some time.” There will probably not be an update here for a while, so watch the Twitter if you want painkiller-fueled updates on the state of my intestines. I am going to ask the surgeon to take pictures, but I don’t know if he will oblige. Come on Dr M! Instagram my guts!
—mimi smartypants, internally famous.