mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
dirty metallic taste of heaven
What is teething? Obviously it is the term used when a young child is getting his or her first teeth, which happens at all kinds of ages and takes a FUCKING LONG TIME. But it also is a catch-all term to explain demented behavior, similar to the terms “PMS,” “nervous breakdown,” “senility,” or “Mimi's on […]
weapon against dualism
No idea if I am just legitimately cute, or if the true draw was my girlish headband, petticoat skirt, and t-shirt that says DWEEB in 1970s-style iron-on letters, but for whatever reason I was like catnip to lesbians the other night, at a farewell party for a friend of mine in Andersonville. I am still […]
prophet of an autoerotic utopia
Hi. I like you. Will you be my friend? Check one (yes__) (no__)I am regressing. I have urges to pass notes in class and jump rope and get wildly, improbably wasted on a weeknight. These urges have everything to do with being newly home after my Pacific Northwest vacation/business trip, not being unpacked yet, certainly […]
go-kart pileup
If Sunday had been any other holiday supposedly devoted to me, such as my birthday or wedding anniversary, I would be much crankier right now. But it was Mother's Day, so in a certain historical/karmic sense it almost seems fitting that so much of the day was devoted to drama and drudgery. I did four […]
swashbuckling insincerity
Maybe I'm just dumb or not British, but I don't even know who this guy is, much less why you would want him tattooed on your leg.Banana guard. The effects of Monday night's too much beer showed up on Tuesday not in classic hangover fashion, which at least would afford me some measure of dignity […]
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