mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for December 2003

gangrenous and infected with ticks

On 23 December 2003

C IS FOR COOKIE. C IS FOR. FOR. COOKIE. C-C-C-COOKIE. COOKIE.This Christmas, Nora's first, will be pretty over the top, since she is the first grandchild on both sides. I (verbally) wrestled my mother to the ground and would not let her up until she promised to show restraint when it came to presents, because […]

you remind me of a roseate spoonbill

On 18 December 2003

STAY GOLD PONYBOY*This past weekend I saw Harvey Sid Fisher perform. Harvey is always fun, but this time the backup band was Cheer Accident, which really made the evening a standout. At about midnight some audience members were leaving, and when aggressively questioned as to why (Harvey Sid Fisher takes audience participation to new heights), […]

manipulating inflated rubber gloves

On 12 December 2003

IF I WERE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD I MIGHT CALL THIS ENTRY “RANDOM THOUGHTS”1. You know what is amazing about marijuana? Besides the fact that it is illegal, even though to my knowledge no one has ever committed armed robbery or carjacking while under its influence, or even indeed done much of anything, besides giggle and […]

vertiginous incarnations of ecclesiastical dogma

On 9 December 2003

GROSS STUFF1. Last year I went through a phase of daily at-work bagel consumption, which meant I went down to my office cafeteria every day at nine in the morning to toast that mother and smear on some cream cheese. It was a bit of theater as well as a bit of nutrition: making something […]

former cliff diver and extreme snowboarder

On 4 December 2003

I am still going deaf, but I continue to mis-hear things in lovely and creative ways, so I do not mind one bit. Just keep talking nice and loud and allow me to think you are more interesting or funny than you actually are. This past weekend I was watching football and folding laundry (more […]

bopping them on the head

On 2 December 2003

I shall put the Nora-related stuff at the top this time. You know, instead of trying to kid myself that she is not foremost on my mind, and that I really am giving equal time to Drinking; Reading All Kinds Of Difficult Books In A Sad Effort To Convince Myself I Still Have Intellectual Credibility, […]