mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for August 2003

scheduled oranges

On 28 August 2003

How to say that you are cheese. Somebody call Snoop Dogg: 40-oz collection. Here is a page of things to read about Archimedes. Beth and Chris. They sing. You cringe. But you also may smirk.Stop the presses, I forgot to wear earrings today. Normally I am never not wearing earrings out in public. My ears […]

boogie woogie woogly

On 27 August 2003

SOME HORRIFIC SIGHTS I HAVE SEEN THIS WEEK THAT NEARLY SET MY EYES AFLAME, AND CAUSED ME TO MAKE PLANS FOR TWO-DOLLAR BEERS WITH MY SISTER TOMORROW (YOU SAY “SUBSTANCE ABUSE,” I SAY “COPING MECHANISM,” TOMATO TOMAHTO LET'S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF)A man using a spoon to feed cheez sauce, the kind that comes […]

the acid to your alkaline

On 25 August 2003

Good evening, Internet. You are looking well. I had almost forgotten the soothingness of a blank Word document, all white like a winter hospital bed (and the cursor blinks its metronome hello), because my weekend was very filled up with people-time. Disconcertingly fleshy, people are. Speaking out loud, bounded by time and space. They want […]

polyphonic apricot nothings

On 22 August 2003

YES! No more malls. I shall not mourn.What is wrong with me? Ordinarily I am not so girly. But I covet a pair. In black, please.This is a model of a cow udder. I would not mind a repeat of this week's rhythms. Monday and Tuesday were kind of stressy at work and busy in […]

up with Frogurt

On 21 August 2003

THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN STOLEN FROM ME1. A roll of quarters.2. Cigarettes.3. A Smiths tape. College. I suspected the same person of all three of these petty thefts but I never confronted her because I am chickenshit like that, and because the whole thing made me kind of sad. 4. Several bikes.5. My youth and […]

I voted for the Trix Rabbit to get some damn Trix

On 20 August 2003

WHO’S ALL SOCIAL?Me. Well, vaguely. The other night I went to go hear a friend's band, who are apparently just popular as all heck these days, and while their music is not precisely my thing the show was plenty fun enough for an evening. The crowd scared the hell out of me, though. Lots of […]

Tito lived across the street

On 18 August 2003

NUMERALS WILL SAVE US1. Are you strong? Do you have a buddy who is also strong? Do me a favor then: you take the north side of Chicago, your friend will take the south side (should that be capitalized? Residents of said Side would say yes, but I am not so sure), and on a […]

now he is nearly alone

On 14 August 2003

Some people probably decide to order pizza on purpose. But for me it always feels like a sad fallback position. Don't get me wrong, I like pizza. But LT and I never really plan on pizza for dinner (unless it is one of his excellent homemade creations). Pizza, for us, is a series of flashbulb […]

king of the jukebox

On 12 August 2003

MY BAG IS FULL OF RECTANGLESWalletlibrary bookiPodsmall notebookPDAkeyboard for PDApack of gum(sometimes) pack of cigarettes (shhh)cell phone (cheap and thus more rectangular than groovily ergonomic)checkbookgas bill I keep forgetting to pay with said checkbookMY DIET IS ALSO FULL OF RECTANGLEStofu satay at PacificNutri-Grain bar (strawberry)a few pieces of sharp cheddar, eaten with Triscuits that were […]

the splayed nib

On 11 August 2003

In the city, ladies look pretty. Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty.This is not precisely true. There are plenty of unattractive women around, and don't some guys tell jokes out of a simple love of jokes? Is it always a performative display of wit? However, I do recommend busting a move rather than […]