mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for October 2002

giddy and pleasantly vague

On 15 October 2002

ACTUAL QUOTES FROM LAST NIGHT'S SEATTLE/SAN FRANCISCO FOOTBALL GAME, BLITHERED STRAIGHT FROM THE MOUTH OF JOHN MADDEN (SOMEBODY, PLEASE, DIG A HOLE AND THROW HIM INTO IT)1. He's got a Chinese arm! [ed. note: I have no idea what that was supposed to mean.]2. Without a quarterback, they've got no offense! 3. He kept talking […]

fig newtonian

On 14 October 2002

I had fitful disturbed sleep last night. In between nocturnal awakenings I had snatches of these three dreams, which alternated with each other to form a confusing, incoherent mini-series: (a) the usual “terrible unspeakable things have happened to those I love, and now I am left in this shadowy dangerous realm to battle the monsters/stormtroopers/Nameless […]

maximum nap potential

On 13 October 2002

NO PREAMBLE: JUST SMUT, ROBOTS, AND ANTI-IRISH SENTIMENTHow about a drawing of General LaFayette riding on a outlandishly sized penis? Blessed are the cocksuckers, which really should be one word and not two like this article thinks.History of a Victorian-era robot. I am thinking about adding an fake Irish prejudice to my fake Belgian prejudice. […]

capricious convolutions

On 11 October 2002

LIKE A WHOLE BUCKET OF STARS DUMPED INTO THE UNIVERSE I won't bore you by talking too much about Sleater-Kinney, I promise. It was an outstanding show, the best I've ever seen from them, which is a little frightening because it's possible that there is no limit to their getting better and better. I was […]

uneasy, seductive mojo

On 9 October 2002

Often he reckons, in the dawn, them up.Nobody is ever missing.—from Dream Song #29 This is very useful: An encyclopedia of monsters. I am fond of the ichthyocentaur. Here's another view, although I think the artist forgot the “horse” part of the centaur.Also very useful (perhaps): Gay Hanky Codes. Even if it's not useful, it […]

he came across a set of bagpipes

On 8 October 2002

I have been given a new phone at work. It has two lines and speakerphone capabilities and a window where the number of who is calling pops up, so you can decide to ignore them ha ha ha. The new phone even has Buttons Of Great Mystery, buttons whose function I cannot even guess at, […]

group grope (grape flavor)

On 7 October 2002

ANIMALS ARE ANIMALISTICHere's an Automatic Penguin Generator, if you are into that sort of thing. Hit the plus sign in the corner to get even more penguins.For you non-urban people who have cool killer cats who go in and out of cat doors: Flo Control. I think it's neat. However, my own personal cat is […]

fate has brought me to this falafel stand

On 6 October 2002

DANGER!Here are some things that can kind of mess up one's worldview (of course, my worldview is somewhat fragile. Today I feel like the hairdryer of insanity is sort of teetering on the edge of the bathtub of well-being. I am in the bathtub of well-being up to my neck in chamomile soapsuds and I […]

I won a stuffed dog at the Carnival of Sorrow

On 3 October 2002

MOPEY AND CRYPTIC How about some bad analogies? Anyone? Okay, coming right up. I feel like I've been surfing my whole life. Like there's a big wave and I am all on the crest of it, moving along steadily. Which is great. I look all stylish up there, surfing away, and everyone smiles and says […]

all this and soup too

On 2 October 2002

IT'S ALL IN JAGGED POINTY BITS AND PIECES TODAYYesterday I had a free sandwich. Free! At this particular sandwich place they give you a little card with ten little sandwiches. (One little, two little, three little sandwiches…come on, sing it with me! It's a lot more mellifluous than “One little, two little, three little Native […]