there was a toolshed
Holidays now officially over. Back to the transit grind. However, it seems to still have sufficient novelty that I mix reading and iPodding with blatant eavesdropping and rubbernecking. The couple having a low-level argument about kitchen-knife quality. (Huh.) The cute guy who sadly is wearing a coat I cannot respect. The old woman with the head tremor that makes it look like she is saying “no no no no” to herself. The twenty-something highlighted-hair chick who has her mouth open for the entire ride. I want so so badly for her to close her mouth. I read whole chapters of Jude the Obscure and then I look up for a check and nope, mouth still not closed arrggggh why does it bug me so much. There is no way for me to get out of the open-mouth sightline other than more Jude the Obscure or twisting my head rather sharply to the right for window-gazing, and that hurts like a bastard to do because of my (totally sober) fall on some alley ice A WEEK AGO. I am becoming an old lady because now my boneheaded self-injuries actually have LASTING CONSEQUENCES. Somebody get me a blinged-out walker, stat.
I fucking love Jude the Obscure. Jude the Obscure is TOTALLY AWESOME. I want a Jude the Obscure t-shirt. During my week-long re-reading of Jude the Obscure I was simultaneously obsessed with that Snoop Doggy Dogg (aka “King Of Rhetorical Questions”) “What's My Name” song, to the point that I was listening to it at least two or three times per train ride. JtO sometimes got all mixed up with SDD, so in my head I would have the backup girls singing “Jude the Obscure-ure-ure” and other Thomas Hardy/pimp rap lyrics. I have been idly composing a Jude the Obscure What's My Name parody for the past couple of days, but it is really a fruitless endeavor as (a) nobody cares but me (b) the child murder-suicide section = not a very fun rap and (c) it is not like JtO has much to brag about.
Snoop, on the other hand, has a whole lot to brag about, including the fact that he has a fine sense of work-life balance. From the Snoop Wikipedia entry:
He goes on to say that upon the advice on some of the other pimps he knew, he eventually gave up pimping to spend more time with his family.
1. That's funny, I took up pimping in order to spend LESS time with my family. You kids go play, Mommy's got to smack up a bitch.
2. Snoop's reasoning here sounds like an excuse. Don't fired-in-disgrace CEOs always try to say that they are quitting to “spend more time with family”? Could be that his pimping just sucked.
3. I love the idea of the “pimp advice” consortium. Dear Pimp Brothers, I am having some trouble balancing a full pimp schedule and finding time for my family. Any suggestions?
4. Personally, I think that Snoop just needed to learn how to better manage his time. A few Outlook appointments, a Blackberry, a Covey seminar or two and pimping could easily coexist with family life.
—mimi smartypants is the icing on a cheap grocery-store cake.