edward 40hands
DID YOU CHECK IN THE BACK
Weird phone call from the pharmacy today! I rarely answer the phone but what the heck, shit is boring! Maybe they want to offer me drugs!
No, it turns out they wanted some.
Pharmacy Guy: Hi, I’m looking for Aaron Smartypants
Me: This is his mom, can I help?
PG: He was prescribed some hydrocodone in November by [oral surgeon]?
Me: Uh yeah, for wisdom teeth removal. That was…a while ago?
PG: Well, uh, we were just wondering…he was prescribed 12 pills. Did he by any chance receive more than that?
Me: I don’t know? But probably not? Like I said, that was a while ago. He took them for a few days but…
PG: No, no, it’s okay. We are just missing some pills so we have to check.
Pharmacy Guy sounded wicked embarrassed to be making this call, and I felt that. Because someone is STEALING, pharmacy, OBVIOUSLY. The pharmacy bosses would be better off installing some security cameras than making poor PG call everyone who was dispensed an opioid two months ago.
YELLS AT CLOUD
My last post was before my birthday so now I am even more old and irrelevant! I hope that means that I have the right to make sweeping pronouncements on generational divides, because I am about to. I am going to try to do it in a fair way, because it is honestly not my intent to poop on people and what they get excited about. It’s just an observation! Picture me in pleated pants standing in front of a brick wall, what’s the deal with airplane food etc.
A friend of mine works at a company where they give out little awards once a quarter. Anyone can nominate anyone else—peer to peer, manager to employee—and the award is called something like “Star Performer” or “Extra Mile.” If you are an office worker, you are no doubt familiar. Sometimes you get a Starbucks card or a framed certificate. Sometimes it’s a small but pleasant amount of cash, like a hundred bucks.
Not life-changing, right? My whole life I have sneered at these things as being, and I don’t know any other way to put this, uncool. Wow, The Man gave me a cookie! Please sir, angle the boot so I may more ergonomically lick it clean! At best, the awards seemed weird. Like, here are three reasons a person might be motivated to excel at their job, and the last one is NOT IT.
- They think the end result is worth something in and of itself
- They want promotions and money and power
- They want a pat on the head, their name in the newsletter, and a tiny token of appreciation.
My friend, though, supervises a lot of millennials. (Real ones, not some people’s incorrect shorthand for “teenagers.” Established career people, being paid regular salaries for the work, ages 25 to 35 or so.) These people do NOT think the awards are dumb or uncool. The awards are actually divisive and a Big Deal. There were private complaints to my friend that someone was nominated for “just doing their job” (ie, not going the titular Extra Mile). There were questions about the criteria, and how one could be nominated. Winning one of these awards was listed as a “goal” on someone’s self-assessment.
We were texting back and forth (me and the friend) (oh how I wish it were at a bar, in front of beers), and kind of making fun of this, but also trying to make sense of it. She had to take these employees’ concerns seriously, because that is part of the job of a boss, but…really? You sincerely want this?
And to be so open! I think if I wanted something uncool, I would be secretive about it, and if found out I might claim to be wanting it “ironically,” and that is DEFINITELY GenX psychic damage that I have. (I don’t think I’m the only one.) We’re not better! We’re just messed up in a different way, and I do not begrudge these people finding joy and achievement in their acrylic desk awards or chocolate gift sets. I just can’t relate!
(It is always possible that I am doing the classic New York Times thing and ascribing a quality found in a few dorks at a single company to an entire generation. Look at me! Trend-story writer!)
—mimi smartypants, leaning out.