chill jamz
MAYBE WE CAN WORK BACKWARDS
I have been severely avoidant when it comes to Writing Things Down (zero May diary entries and zero June ones). I have three main modes lately and none are conducive to written communication.
Blissful Contentment: this is admittedly sometimes marijuna-induced, but by no means always. I feel that I have exactly enough. I have the best life partner, the best son, the best family, the best friends. I love my house, all the renovations, all the decisions made, all the collected-over-time things in it. Marijuana or no, I fall into these weird “mindfulness” trances where everything is this moment, that bit of light on my cat’s fur, this sip of tea (a leaf! The absolute enjoyment of a dried and rehydrated leaf!) If you’ve read Russian novels, you get it. I’m the epileptic mystic falling into raptures, although mine are about small real things instead of the Holy Spirit.
General Blah: the whole thing, the “we do not give a single shit about the rule of law” times we are currently living in, the commodified reactionary grievance outrage shouting from all kinds of media, the threat of nuclear war (again! As if I didn’t worry-cry about that in my Snoopy-sheeted bed at least once a week in the fourth grade!) Et cetera.
Personal Blah: This one is slightly age-related, I think: sometimes I just feel like an unlovable mushroom. I go back and forth between “fuck everyone, I shall swath my mushroom body in the blackest of black cloths and embrace my outer hag” and actively researching neck lifts and blepharoplasty.
But! I had a lovely time in Ireland! LT planned a perfect anniversary trip, we drove around and hiked around in the beauty and damp. I slept in several seriously high-end hotels (avert thine eyes from thy credit card bill), a fancy yurt, and the most adorable little farm cottage. We visited some Neolithic tombs on our actual anniversary. We saw the cliffs and the sea and the hills and the meadows. I got to hold a baby lamb, at a place we found by following the signs that said “Hold A Baby Lamb.”
THIS SORTA SOUNDS LIKE A CONSERVATIVE TALKING POINT BUT IT ISN’T
I wish people had even basic arguing skills. I can be persuaded! If only you could be bothered to persuade! People just get offended if you push back on even the littlest things, like you are impugning their character! Sullying their good name! Implying their incompetence!
Example 1: If I am buying something, or going to consume a service, sometimes there’s an upgrade that sounds kind of like bullshit. And if you say, “wait, I don’t think I need that” or “what’s the difference between this and that,” I get a little thrill when a person puts genuine effort into telling me why I should pay more. It doesn’t always work, but I appreciate it! You did not robotically read me a script about how X tier comes with Z benefits that I could read for myself on the website.
Now someone is going to get on my email ass by saying I am demanding emotional labor from service workers. I don’t demand a little flair, buddy, I just like it!
Example 2: If I meet someone new and they say something a little wild that is not easily disproved, like maybe they have a theory about the JFK assassination* or something, I would rather they spout off in a slightly bug-eyed fashion than just say “anyone who thinks it was Oswald is a braindead loser.” Maybe it wasn’t! Convince me!
Gosh I am so ready to be convinced.
*You’d think this kind of rabbit hole would be interesting to me but it really is not, I might have the least interest in Who Killed JFK than anyone in the world (except maybe the Mafia ha ha ha! Just kidding there is no Mafia) (wink). I did read Death of A President out of summertime boredom (it was in the house) in like seventh grade and lingered over the autopsy parts. Kids are sick monsters at that age and we love them for it.
BREAKING ALPHABET NEWS
Have a seat, get some water, because: I am about to blow your mind. I have heard from a friend with a small child that the child has been taught in daycare to sing the alphabet song thusly. Same tune, same notes, but different.
ABCDEFG
HIJKLMN
OPQ
RST
UVW
XYZ
Yes! Farewell to the slur of LMNOP. On the one hand, we will miss it. On the other, I think this is a good, albeit very disruptive, innovation. It assigns a note to every letter, which makes it easier to understand what is going on with the alphabet and the song. It gives L, M, N, O, P their due rather than cramming them all into one bit.
This is truly a turning point in alphabet education! We need to keep track and see if in 20 years everyone under a certain age sings the alphabet this way.
—mimi smartypants is poison in the well, she’s the ghost inside the shell.