tycho brahe orders pizza
FULL BEAST MODE IF THE BEAST IS A TURKEY
Over the weekend LT took Nora for what was going to be a mellow weekend bike ride, and they ended up going about 40 miles with a stop for ice cream. I’m told that she not only wanted to ride farther, but she exhorted him to go “full beast mode” during the last part of the ride home. Where did Nora get a phrase like that? I don’t think LT or I even have a “beast mode,” but I’ll tell you one thing: I am glad we didn’t adopt her later in life than we did.
Speaking of that small crazy person, she has become a huge fan of the Whole Foods brand of turkey jerky, not least because it has a song about turkey jerky printed right on the package, to be sung to the tune of “Home on the Range.” Oh give me a SNACK I can fit in my PACK made of ALL ORGANIC WHITE MEEEEEEAT etc. We are fans of self-referential food in this house.
OTHER MUSIC, NOT ABOUT MEAT
1. I like Yuck. It’s not yucky.
2. LT thinks it’s a bit wrong for anyone to cover “Waiting for the Man,” but the older I get the more I regard Lou Reed as (at best) a medium-talent dickmuncher,* and I have really come to enjoy the Bowie version of that song. Particularly when the glam-rock slips out on “he’s never early, he’s always late.”
*No offense to dickmunching, as it’s a fine activity.**
**(Of course I speak of figurative dickmunching. Please don’t literally munch.)***
***(Did you hear the one about the girl whose brain painted her into a corner by use of digressions and distractions and asides? I think she choked on a parenthesis and died.)
3. Cheer yourself up with “Party and Bullshit.” Is there such a thing as dead-rapper karaoke? Because I spit this flow FLAWLESSLY.
IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
I realized I never posted finished-kitchen pictures, so here they are for the (very few) people who are interested.
I feel I must defend the backsplash tile, which is glass and awesome and not at all as busy and crazy as it looks in these pictures. I was originally convinced I wanted super-plain subway tile, but it looked boring and sad in context. Eight million samples of tile later, this glass stuff was the clear winner.
I love everything about the remodel and still sometimes do a little “my kitchen is awesome” dance when entering it. Or rather I used to, and someday will again, once my middle is all healed.
IT TAKES A GODDAMN NOISY VILLAGE
On the crowded train, a young woman was whining into her cell phone about whyyyyy a certain guy didn’t want her to come over, asking him repeatedly when they could see each other next, and so on. “I wouldn’t bother you! I just want to hang out!” It was kind of gross and desperate, and although we couldn’t hear his side, clearly he was enjoying it on some level since it just went on and on (unless he was completely tuning her out while playing XBOX, who knows).
I was also tuning her out as best I could, alternately staring into space and reading my book, and I assume my fellow passengers were attempting to do the same. Suddenly an African-American grandma-type pointed at the phone-whiner and loudly said, “Girl, quit! Respect yourself! Ain’t no boy worth all this bullshit!” I heard spontaneous laughter and applause from several seats, and there was an involuntary “YES!” from me. I guess if you’re going to conduct your private life in public, the public is going to weigh in.
LEFTOVERS
Something to read: The quinoa was on fire.
Someone to comfort (whoops, too late): Nora draws a face on my banana every morning. Yesterday’s looked like he knew all too much about his terrible fate.
—mimi smartypants has been chosen as an extra in the movie adaptation of the sequel to her life.