mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for February 2012

love myself better than you

On 23 February 2012

HUMANITY WAITS FOR INVENTION Are there any dental hygienists in the house? Because I have a question. Are we sure that in The Year Two Thousand And Twelve there is no better way to give someone a tooth-cleaning than with a little pointy scraper? There is no hypersonic ultrathin propulsion thingy that can do the […]

a bookstore man meets the CIA

On 16 February 2012

My mission today was to make it to Bloomington-Normal, Illinois, to deliver a lecture (of sorts) on personal blogging and to read hopefully-funny excerpts from this here blog-thing. Ah the romance of train travel.  Or not. After a weirdly restless night my 5:30 am taxi arrived, and I struggled to avoid peeing my pants in […]

grab my shrimps

On 9 February 2012

(NOT) LEAVING ON A GREYHOUND BUS I am tired of the loud Brown Line panhandler with the massively long story. He is a fairly young dude with enormous hip-hop clothes and a backpack, and he shows up yelling about how his life is so messed up, he wants to kill himself, his dad is an […]

disconnect the phone

On 2 February 2012

WHAT NOT TO WEAR. OR BUY, APPARENTLY. I have been trying to buy new clothes and every time it results in BIG MASSIVE FAIL. Here are some of my problems: 1. I have no patience for the hunt. None. I want to go to one place and walk out with clothing. 2. Regardless of whether […]