mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
hit hard by potato blight
Nora's new word is “splendid.” How was your day, Nora? It was SPLENDID! What do you want to drink? Some soy milk would be SPLENDID! Mommy, do you remember the Superfriends where Mr. Mxyzptlk turned Superman into a little kid? Wasn't it SPLENDID? No. No it wasn't, Nora. In fact it was exceedingly lame. Although […]
giant metal puppy
META-DIARY One thoughtful reader sent me an email about how maybe I missed a perfect Adoption Talk opportunity with Nora's “two mommies” comment from the last entry. I appreciate the sentiment, but trust me that it was not really the time or place. Besides the fact that it would have ruined my threesome joke (kidding! […]
flee to me, remote elf
ALL BY MYSELF I work in a tall building and I come to work really early. This means I get a lot of chances to ride the elevators by myself. The elevators where I work are mirrored on all sides and have handrails at about hip height. How do I take advantage of this? Here […]
fabulous stretch of road
TRUE STORY THAT MIGHT BE FUNNIER IF I HAD BIGGER BALLS (METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING) As I am de-train-ing at the Jackson subway stop, I accidentally step on the back of some girl's flip-flop* and we both sort of slip for a second and it is jarring and awkward. But what could have been simply awkward soon […]
were it not for the cement
CAUTIONARY FABLE So I met this man and he may have forced me to smoke something all rolled up in paper. I feared for my life so I did as he asked. Or maybe I dreamed that part and it never really happened. Anyway, if it did occur I have a feeling that it would […]
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