mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
attilla the honey I shrunk the kids
NO LONGER MISSING IN ACTION But still busy at work, still busy at home, and still unsleeping.* And also, frankly, getting a little sick of my online self. You can expect updates to be sporadic and self-absorbed, as usual, but thank you for all the YO GIRL WHERE YOU AT? emails. Those were fun. *Dude, […]
unite and take over
My oven light won't go off. That is not a metaphor—there really is something wrong with my oven—but it can function as one if you want, to explain why I CANNOT SLEEP. Last night was fine for the first two hours, then I was completely wide-awake from one to three in the morning, and then […]
quicklime, slowlime
THIS ENTRY WILL START WITH THE VERY SERIOUS AND END WITH THE VERY MUNDANE, AND I WILL PROBABLY TRY TO MAKE A FUMBLING HALF-ASSED CONNECTION BETWEEN THE TWOI have known for a few days that Aaron Hawkins killed himself, but I have not said anything because I did not know him, and because other people […]
pattern of accommodation
OKAY BRAIN, THAT'S ENOUGHAlthough I have accepted the fact that for some reason my body clock has shifted forward, so that I am up at dawn and in bed by 11 pm unless I have a compelling reason to stay awake (such as you saying, “Another beer?”), FOUR-THIRTY IN THE MORNING is pushing it. So, […]
buy our products, you lazy bitch
TWO STUPID BRAIN TRICKS IN ONE DAY 1. I am on the train, and a group of young guys gets on, and one of them is quite cute. Good features, just-messy-enough post-punk haircut, big nose (I have a Nose Thing), and a goofy self-deprecating manner, at least from my vantage point across the aisle. So […]
twat? I cunt hear you!
OVERLY DETAILED, SELF-INDULGENT REPORTAGE OF MY TRIP DOWN TO NORTH AVENUE TO HAVE BREAKFAST WITH S.Something about being awake and on a bus well before dawn gives me strange wide-open eyes, and makes me assign equal importance to every detail. Early-morning city journeys have a being-on-acid quality of undifferentiated experience, where sunrise and broken glass […]
there's a clown frown downtown
I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD HAVE TO TELL SOMEONE NOT TO PUT CHEERIOS IN HER VAGINAWhole-grain oat goodness, perhaps, but it still is not the best idea. I turn away for one second during a clothing change and when I look back Nora is frowning earnestly and trying to insert a stray Cheerio up in […]
lubricate the aristocracy
EAVESDROPPER-ITISOverheard recently, on the El, in an elevator, and on the street, respectively and in that order:“I can see how entrails would be fun to play in…all hot and slippery. I mean, except that they're entrails.”“Sticky, sticky nectar. Really sticky nectar.”[one little kid to another] “Would you rather be a garbageman or…a garbagelady?”BLIGHT IN AUGUST! […]
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