mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for March 2004

seeing the torsos of the robot girls again

On 26 March 2004

It's really not fair for me to post and edit down my own chat transcripts, because in this one it was actually T. who was saying most of the smart stuff, and I was merely being overcaffeinated and goofy and cracking myself up with my own one-liners. But hey. What is a personal web page […]

bulwark against gentrification

On 25 March 2004

OVERWHELMINGLY SOCIAL TRANSIT SYSTEM Charlie is a short, elderly, intellectually disabled man who is ubiquitous on the #155 bus and on north side transit in general. I have no idea why he travels so much, but my theory is that he has some kind of job at the group home at Damen and Devon, since […]

crescendo of wild-eyed Wagnerian passion

On 23 March 2004

FIRST, THE SELF-INDULGENT BABY PHOTO.I call this Toddler + Cat: Unrequited Love.My office stocks a brand of mailing envelopes called “Survivor.” Remember that.I spent yesterday deep in the grip of green tea psychosis, because I was hopping around the mood-altering game board (ages 12 and up) and jumped right over the square called Just Enough […]

a camping trip with courtney love

On 19 March 2004

SUNNY-SIDE UPMy feet are almost always to be found in these shoes, Converse sneakers, or my stompy Doc Martens.* However, recently I went digging in my closet in search of interesting shoes, of which I have few. There are the red-patent-leather bowling shoes that I could not leave at the thrift store for only two […]

rhyme crime

On 17 March 2004

WAYS OF BEINGDo you want to FREAK OUT? Engage in some sustained thinking about the platypus, and then a quality freakout will be yours! I have already talked at length about my slowly evolving platypus-knowledge: everyone grew up knowing that it is a mammal and yet lays eggs (freaky!), but not as many are aware […]

nomenclature casserole

On 14 March 2004

I can be pretty immature sometimes. I have been known to get the giggles the minute the nightstand lights are turned out, and I will lie there in the dark next to LT and make strange nonsense noises and laugh and laugh. On long airplane trips I often draw a face on my hand, so […]

across the river there are all kinds of magical instruments

On 9 March 2004

Yesterday’s bus scene: Crowded, a line to get on, and a toothless boozehound in an army jacket is yelling, “Come on, let’s go! Hurry up, assholes! Let’s go!” When he called one woman, who was having some trouble with her transit card, a “stupid cunt,” you could feel a ripple of hatred run through the […]

you love fruit salad? then why don't you marry it?

On 6 March 2004

QUESTION FOR GIRLS ON BIRTH CONTROL PILLSDo you save the placebos? About ten years ago (gosh I'm old) I switched brands and my new brand of pills, which I still use, is a twenty-eight-day, variable-dose thing that includes a row of placebos. I am somewhat offended by the placebos. It seems to imply that “you […]

bachelor number whatever

On 2 March 2004

TEN THINGS I MISS ABOUT MY PRE-MOMMY LIFE1. Not having the urge to pick someone else’s nose. Sorry to be gross, but sometimes Nora will have a big dry nose-boulder right there at the entrance to her nostril-cavern, and who am I not to help her out with a little excavation? It is just too […]

amateur night at the media circus

On 1 March 2004

THE FIRST WORD OUT OF MY MOUTH THIS MORNINGWas “fuck.” Not “Hello Monday! Today will be a special day!” Not “Hey baby, let's do it 5 am style” (which would be totally lost on LT as he is in no way coherent at my getting-up hour of the morning, but if I took matters into […]