mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
way to be deep, Blake Schwartzenbach
BORING WEEKEND CORNERThis weekend I was unable to write an update because I think the National Dairy Council practiced secret mind control techniques on me and forced me to eat practically a whole cow's worth of cheese. Otherwise I have no explanation for why I became gaga for lactose for three or four days. LT […]
x-ray my heart and it looks just like a leaf on a tree
STRANGE-FLAVOR SAUCE COATS MY MENTAL SPOONWhat is making me feel so weird? The weather, which here in Chicago is dark and chilly and weirdly humid, like a hiding in a coat closet? The fact that I have spent six hours reading articles on rectal cancer (for business, not pleasure)? The bottles of Miller High Life* […]
official state of emergency
Hey. Ho. I suggest that we go. There is a mysterious floating speck of something in my cup of green tea. Instead of burning my fingers to fish it out, or sticking any foreign object into the tea, I am playing a sort of Zen carnival game with the mysterious floating speck. I concentrate on […]
rope enough to rope a dope
Severed-head stories make me HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. I should start a separate severed-head weblog. Warning: Choking Hazard. Um. Okay. (It is so hard to restrain myself, but I must.)HOW MUCH DO I ROCK?(a) Not so much.(b) Two-fifths.(c) A bushel and a not-quite-full peck(d) You rock so much that God himself could not hold all your […]
the talking dog as motif in folklore
THIS ENTRY IS WEIRDLY FULL OF RODENTS AND RUSSIABoy, how about that day, huh? I am sure there was crappy weather somewhere, but Chicago was all bluesky smiles yesterday. Today, too. With the big puffy clouds that mostly just look like clouds, due not to a lack of imagination but to comfort level, letting stuff […]
where you at? over here.
There is just something special about tiny art. I am trying to squeeze in an entry, no matter how puny and anemic (eat your Wheaties, Entry!), between meetings and phone calls and LEAVING AS SOON AS SMARTYPANTS POSSIBLE to go meet my comrade for beers at Secret Polish Bar. I have not been to this […]
mastodon stampede tonight, see me for details
NEAR THE WILSON STOP1. Afrimex! A store that claims to sell “African And Mexican Clothing And Hair Products.” I know it sounds like I am making this up, but I did see it, near Wilson and Broadway. Wait, unless I dreamed it. Which I hope not, because that is kind of scary. A repeat of […]
the heart is a lonely hunter s. thompson twins
MY FOOLISH NUMBERING HABIT IS THE HOBGOBLIN OF MY LITTLE MINDOr maybe I just want something to be orderly, since I'm not. I am out of order. I am disorderly. Excuse me, this is not what I ordered.1. This entry may be long. Longer than normal, even. I feel bad about making you sit there […]
welcome to Cocksuckersville
Hi. I am not quite so angry as in the last entry. Feeling quite sentimental and nostalgic, actually, with occasional detours into frustrated frazzled-nerve goggle-eyed indecision, oversensitive weepiness, a giddy outbreak of goofy hijinks or three, and even a few scary moments of the big Sad. I am all over the place this week, and […]
fastened to the gurney
Sometimes the abstract makes you want to know more. And sometimes it doesn't. (“Homework assignments”?)File under Things I Did Not Need To See: Chan Marshall's pubic hair. In the New Yorker, no less. In the photograph accompanying this story. The photo was called “provocative” but really it was just kind of “yucky.” Scroll all the […]
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