my blood runs cold
When I sat down on the El today, there was a piece of paper on my seat. This is what it said (handwritten):
It's okay I understand, this ain't no never-never land. I hope that when this issue's gone, I'll see you when your clothes are on. We'll take your car, Yes we will, we'll take your car and drive it. We'll take it to a motel room, and take 'em off in private. A part of me has just been ripped, the pages from my mind are stripped. Oh no, I can't deny it, Oh yeah, I guess I gotta buy it!
The rest of the page was torn off, so I assume somebody took the chorus to “Angel in the Centerfold” with them.
I ONLY EXIST IN A SHADOWY NARRATIVE REALM
You probably, after nearly 500 entries, have some idea of who I am. Not that I expect you to have read all those entries, goodness no. In fact I'd be worried about you if you had. Now, as I've discussed before, your idea of me may or may not be accurate. You may think “pretentious little bitch” (Hey. That's not nice. don't hate the player, hate the game), you may think “gosh she sure seems to drink a lot maybe I could invite her to my Thursday night 12-step meeting,” or you may think “I'd like to fly a kite in the park with that girl and maybe buy her an ice cream cone.” You are almost certainly thinking “for fuck's sake redesign that site already” (to which I say NO! I am an island of stability in the ever-shifting Web!)
All of those are perfectly legitimate things for you to think. I can't stand it when writers of online diaries get all up in your face with I AM A SPECIAL PERSON ABOUT WHOM YOU MUST NEVER FORM ASSUMPTIONS because (1) it's perfectly natural for human beings to form assumptions about each other based on their words and opinions, and (2) there's something (cringe: lame-ass ten-dollar “theory” word coming up) inherently performative about doing a personal page in public space…although I provide a lot of [stupid] links my goal is obviously not solely to provide information and commentary (in a weblog sort of way) but more to construct some sort of shared space between you and I. Damn. I like to pretend that I am a hard-edged 21st-century cybergrrrrl but now that I type out these [gummi-worm-fueled] thoughts I realize that my vision of this Web space is ultimately very cozy, feminine, domestic, sentimental. Ah well.
STUFF
Really funny personal ads.
Really funny quotation: “As a Christian, would it be appropriate for you to participate in a role-playing game with friends where each of you imagines a scenario involving a variety of sexual activities including fornication, adultery, and homosexuality?” Why, that sounds grand! Can non-Christians play too? What fun! (Quotation taken from Jack Chick pamphlet on why you should not play Dungeons and Dragons. Why not? BECAUSE IT LABELS YOU AS AN