mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
moans of the almost marvelous
A THOUGHT (which may or may not be useful or true, you be the judge): All serious, “real” friendship is a tiny bit erotically charged. This comes through most clearly in grade school. I was never “popular” but was more the type to have one intense best friend: doing everything together, having sleepovers, engaging in […]
bauxite futures
Still kind of sleepy and out of sorts. Saucer-eyed and dreamy-brained, trancing out on woodgrain. (My rap.) I feel like throwing myself on the mercy of the world. I went to a meeting yesterday, and I was early (note: I'm always early, for everything. It's a sickness, and it seems to be getting worse with […]
zero percent financing on the new zepplin
Oh my goodness. I have dreamed about a building like this, and I mean that quite literally. Going back through my scribbled, sketchy dream journals one finds this from June 6, 2001: the fog hotel, standing on pilings over the bay…we go inside and are immediately enveloped in fog, disoriented, not unlike the chaos of […]
eastern standard time
Ah, New York. I'm all yours, New York. You had me at “I'm going to shove that fucking backpack up your ass.” Which is what some stereotyped Latina girl (achingly tight ponytail, cleavage shirt with gold name necklace, black lipliner) announced as her intent, when I bumped into her a tiny bit on the street […]
tempus edax rerum, sadly
I keep forgetting to mention that tomorrow I take off for NYC, where I will no doubt, immediately upon stepping out of the cab from LaGuardia, get hooked on smack and end up gyrating disinterestedly around a pole, track marks on my skinny shanks and a thousand-yard stare shining out of my purple-rimmed eyes, sweaty […]
a serious student of selenology
FUN WITH WORDS: At work, one of our manuscripts had an extra author added to its byline, and I wanted to indicate this on the front for the copy editor, so I started to write “See new author (enclosed)” on the envelope before I realized how wrong that was.MORE FUN WITH WORDS: I'm still all […]
you little saucebox!
ONCE AGAIN, I DIG IN MY POCKETS FOR STRAIGHTFORWARD NARRATIVE AND COME UP SHORTMorning, early, I wait for the bus and am mesmerized for several minutes by the streetlight's reflection in an oily puddle. But I have not written a haiku about it because I am not Basho.A few years ago at a conference I […]
half-assed literary criticism free with every $10 purchase
I have a new hipster slang term, which I want everyone to use. When something is gross or icky or generally vile, I've taken to calling it Nasdaq. You do it too, please. “Man, that's Nasdaq.” If something is really over-the-top disgusting, it's Nasdaq Composite. A meaningless non sequitur, but I like the way it […]
on a rocky outcrop
For some reason, both yesterday and today, we (the royal “we,” I guess) have been starting entries with the funny shit. Why is that? Damned if I know. But here's some detourned children's books that made me laugh my dumb-ass laugh this morning. Make sure you read them all. (Or else what? What am I […]
turn left on Fascination Street
I hope this makes you a tiny bit happier. It worked for me.Still waking up too early, but if I keep having such upbeat dreams I don't mind at all. I may look like a MopeyGoth(tm) on the outside, but my innerspace is apparently very very cheerful. There was one dream where I was doing […]
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