mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for January 2002

sterilized hypo to shoot a sex machine

On 17 January 2002

Very busy, a touch stressed and manic, deadlines looming (looming, I say) around every corner, but with all this running around I get opportunities to practice one of my favorite stress-relieving activities, and for once it's not the one called Big Huge Glasses of Wine: when things get crazy at work I like to practice […]

not a braintease, just a brainflirt

On 16 January 2002

WARNING SIGNSPlagues of locustsSirensDry mouth, sleeplessnessAll your possessions taking on the dark potential of handgunsYellow sky, freight-train windBleeding fingers“We need to talk”A fascination with wood-grain patterns and subatomic particlesClosed-door office conferencesOxygen masks dropping from the overhead compartmentDaydreams of contracting some sort of minor but lingering illness, and resting peacefully in the hospital, a letter to […]

where is the troposphere?

On 15 January 2002

Some housekeeper I am. Last night I was lying on the floor (don't ask) and noticed a pack of cigarettes under a living room chair, apparently left over from the New Year's party. Either that or the box of Parliament Lights belongs to my cat (I'm holding them for a friend! she protests in her […]

strangely straightforward

On 14 January 2002

Once and for all, because it's been bugging me and I see it more and more: if you want a colorful metaphor to describe your crushing headache pain, the word you want is VISE. If you need to discuss how you can't stop drinking or smoking or gambling or selling your body to strangers for […]

safety goggles required

On 11 January 2002

Dressed a bit strangely today. My fashion sense is erratic and I tend to think in terms of “costuming” myself (like this for work, like that for going out, like this for miniature golfing, like that for a clambake, etc). It's reminiscent of my LSD-ingesting days, when I used to “dress up to drop” in […]

hypothetical bun in the hypothetical oven, hypothetically

On 10 January 2002

You are all going to laugh at me, but this question has occupied me on and off for a while now, so I decided just to lay it all out here in classic argumentative style (you know, the prefix-intensive one), so here it is:SHOULD I GET MYSELF KNOCKED UP, EVER?PRO: The human day planner. Very […]

too fast, too fast for love

On 9 January 2002

The very best thing happened to me just now. I'm on the bus going home, and it's insanely crowded, and what's the best thing to go along with “insanely crowded”? An insane person! Yes! There seriously has to be some way we can get the mentally ill to ride public transit at only off-peak hours. […]

train wreck of thought

On 9 January 2002

And the award for Most Disjointed Entry goes to me! Thank you! SOME OF MY FAULTSa. I make too many listsb. Perfectionism, which can lead to inactivity and a lack of follow-throughc. Hypercriticald. Gloominess and pessimisme. What may come off as a lack of compassion but is really just an awkwardness with emotionsFUNKY-ASS PYTHAGOREAN NUMEROLOGY1 […]

step into my vestibule

On 8 January 2002

Status report, my own personal LED readout: because the web is all about oversharingby mimi smartypants1. My face hurts from laughing too much.2. At Delilah's, over beer, last night.3. Hungover? Not really.4. Rather, I merely feel a bit polluted. Were I a river, frogs would be mutating in me.The pollution symptoms:—The need to hold my […]

soy sauce, time travel, and proper respect

On 5 January 2002

Moving very slowly, drinking lots of water. (That could be a Talking Heads lyric.) I played things fairly tame last night, but let me give you a little nutrition tip: beer and cheese fries do not a whole day's worth of food make. Cheese fries are tasty, yes. But cheese fries have their megalomaniacal side: […]