mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for September 2000

I bare my fangs

On 27 September 2000

I went to the dentist yesterday, and all was fine, and no one made any “you should have jaw surgery” type suggestions like the one that so angered me at the last dentist visit. My dentist is all the way down in Hyde Park (I never bothered trying to find another one when we moved…in […]

xxxxxxxxxxxxx look at all the x's

On 22 September 2000

I like to think of myself as not vain and shallow, but recently, at someone's wedding, I ran into an old flame (or rather, “someone I used to date/drink with/sleep with in that bizarre not-dating college fashion”)and he leaned in to give me a hug and said, “Oh wow, you still wear the same perfume.” […]

I like my jelly heterogeneous

On 18 September 2000

I will never, ever, even if I live to be 1000 years old, understand property taxes.I've been going around and around with my mortgage company and my lawyer (who is turning out to be even more of a scatterbrained loser than she seemed at the closing, if that's possible) and the lender's lawyer and the […]

thunder and lightning

On 12 September 2000

Al Gore has a nice big head. I like his big head. (I also want him to take off his pants, but you all know that from an earlier entry.) He sleeps in the nude, as we know from Oprah yesterday. (Didn't watch, but I read about it online.) Even if you care not one […]

(very) drunken jukebox selections

On 8 September 2000

Let us discuss.I can't fight this feeling anymore./I've forgotten what I started fighting for./It's time to bring this ship into the shore,/throw away the oars, forever.And so on.(1) What sort of “ship” does one row? Is this like a pirate ship? A viking ship? “Ship” implies a large vessel, which would be impossible to row […]

incoherent burblings

On 5 September 2000

I was reading this collection of essays about body image and weight issues and plastic surgery etc, and the stuff about plastic surgery was really freaking me out, because call me kooky but I just cannot see getting sliced open unless you absolutely had to. Getting sliced open and some substance stuffed inside of you, […]