jawbreaker, jawbreaker
The dentist was mean to me yesterday! Not only were they all like, “You need to floss more” (yeah yeah, doesn't everybody), and I had that really messy hygienist who gets the sandblasting polishing grit all over your face, but the dentist herself looked at my x-rays and said, “Your teeth have shifted a lot since you had your braces off” and suggested that I have that break-your-jaw cosmetic surgery to ensure “a perfect bite.” Hey, screw you! I'll break YOUR jaw!
I should have said, “Hey, my jawline is very fashionable in Paris! I guess you've never been to Paris, just being a dentist and all.”
Seriously, though, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. First of all, elective surgery. Having one's jaw wired shut and being on a liquid diet for 4 weeks. No thank you.
And yes, even after the braces I have a slight overbite. So what? I'm not like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel or anything. Besides, I'm 28 years old and I'm kind of used to the way my face looks. To radically reshape it at this point would just be too weird.
–sniff—sob–why can't the dentist love me for ME??
hee hee. I crack myself up.
—mimi smartypants