mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for April 2007

this is a pizza-worthy appliance

MY EYES MIGHT ROLL RIGHT OUT OF MY HEAD I finally gave in to the trendiness of, uhhh…2005, and read Perfect Madness. This book got the high score in category: Number Of Times I Can Say “What The Hell Is She TALKING About” In One Reading Session. What the hell was Judith Warner talking about? […]

he knows about science and books and art

BY THE WAY Thanks for all the nice emails regarding my last post. I got antibiotics and am mostly better now. Banana is still dead, of course, but we feel okay knowing that we did the best we could for her. Lately I also spend more time on Petfinder than is probably good for me. […]

automatically every month

CRAP TIMES THREE I stayed home from work yesterday because I did not feel good. And because my cat died. And because my kitchen faucet was broken all to hell. You got all that? Good. The first bit is fairly straightforward—some kind of demon snot has settled in my sinuses, so I have been decimating […]

why are you breaking my balls about clams? I told you I don't feel good.

THE RIGHT TOOLS FOR THE JOB I was walking down the gangway between buildings in our sad urban “back yard,” when I saw a small gray roundish rock. When I instinctively lifted my foot to kick it along (for I am the free-spirit street-urchin type, guv'nor), I saw that it was in fact a dead […]

why would you want a soggy crouton

911 what is your emergency? My emergency is an agitated, belligerent senile! Come quickly! His tie is all askew and we need prompt control! Jesus, hurry! Why are psychiatric drug ads no longer this awesome? They barely even depict crazy people at all anymore. Maybe a slightly bummed-out cartoon blob, maybe a nailbiting woman (always […]