mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for May 2005

a great snack right out of the bag that the whole family will love

On 27 May 2005

MY DIRTY, DIRTY MIND “And more,” indeed. BEEF WOMAN There I was, at a baby shower. Although I do not enjoy these type of events, particularly when the majority of the participants are so blonde and girly and sundress-bedecked and adorable that I feel I should be over in the corner stomping grapes and giving […]

sad of apples

On 18 May 2005

I just ate most of a sleeve of graham crackers with my tea and I have no urge to masturbate! These things really work! The graham crackers were a poor substitute for the teatime snack that I really wanted: a Tim Tam. I am so angry at my Australian acquaintance for getting me hooked on […]

indelible ink on blotting paper

On 11 May 2005

DORKIER THAN THOU 1. A weird craving for coffee, and apparently for throwing away my hard-earned money, overcame me mid-morning and I found myself at the Starbucks near my office. It had been a while since my last Starbucks sojourn, and I had kind of forgotten how to order. I forgot to specify a size, […]

sugar puffs honey monster

On 4 May 2005

Thanks Nora, for the virus. And please thank all those other little disease-ridden rugrats at your preschool. I have the creeping crud—sore throat and underwater ears and probably a bit of a fever, as my head feels very far away from my feet and last night I dreamed about technicolor maki rolls. Fabulous neon seaweed […]