mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for April 2001

“quotation” “marks”

On 30 April 2001

Here are a few of my favorite signs along Devon Avenue:Fresh Baby Coat, $2.99/lbFree Butcher Boy With Every $10 Purchase“Psychic” Reading By “Madeline”—-Palm Reading and “Tarot” CardsGotta love those misused quotation marks. Or are they misused? Hmmm.Plus, even though I'm not sure what I'd do with the free butcher boy, it's awfully tempting. A whole […]

more champagne than beer, today

On 27 April 2001

David Byrne is coming to Chicago! I know, intellectually, that I can't buy tickets until they go on sale, on Saturday. However, because I am excited, I've still been checking the Ticketmaster (I refuse to plug them with a link) website occasionally. This is because I am a dork.I was talking about early English literature […]

remove my lump

On 23 April 2001

I've been away. And now I'm typing with only one hand, so you have to forgive the spelling mistakes and all that. I'll try to fix them all, because that's the kind of conscientious (or is that pedantic?) Diarylander that I am, but I can't promise. Yes, I done went and had the surgery, so […]

wring it out

On 16 April 2001

Sometimes you (yes, even you!) need a reminder not to take yourself quite so seriously. One of the methods I use to remember not to take myself so seriously is an incident from college. I had dropped a large amount of acid with friends, but at this particular moment I was in Introspective Mode, because […]

melodrama and yams

On 12 April 2001

I hate feeling like a cliche. I was reading some Sylvia Plath poems yesterday. It's become commonplace for women to identify with Sylvia Plath poems. It's like a bad joke. But so what. Today, I'm with you, Ms Plath. I understand feeling empty and angry, hands turned to claws, brain like a hot dry stone, […]

bag full o' evil

On 10 April 2001

Under the heading of “Things That, Unfortunately, I Can Never Forget” goes this ad copy for a sex toy catalog I once got in the mail….“Can an anal plug be beautiful and functional at the same time? YES! if it's the blah blah blah Anal Plug….” [and so on]Beautiful. Functional. Anal plug. The mind reels. […]

wavy legs

On 9 April 2001

This is the sort of thing I find fascinating. The French ones sound kind of strange to my ear, but of course we're all culturally biased when it comes to animal sounds. (Typing that sentence just induced a fit of the giggles. Good thing I'm all alone here.) As mentioned before, I practice kind of […]

under over around through

On 5 April 2001

More gems from the referral logs:egypt sluts (this one MULTIPLE times, along with “egyptian sluts”)playing with a penisskanky lingerieorange sex (what?)The Person/Persons Unknown who stole my wallet last month has/have now branched out into writing bad checks on my old, closed account. Every goddamn day I get another notice in the mail for some staggering […]

flee the hippo

On 4 April 2001

Look at this picture.Don't you love these women? Such attitude! That does it, tonight is going to be all about hanging out in a hat and stockings (and nothing else) and smoking cigarettes.(I believe they are prostitutes from the 1920s, although I've misplaced the photo credit. So please don't sue me if you own the […]

Salman “Pikachu” Rushdie

On 3 April 2001

Tracking the stats some more: someone came to my page from a google search for “delightfully garbled,” which I think pretty much represents the sort of thing that goes on here.I have the weirdest medical problems. About 3 months ago I noticed this lumpy thing on my wrist bone, but since I have fairly knobby […]