the mobile relish tray
Just had to get $1400 worth of brakes on our car, a car I do not drive (see earlier entries about my lack of hand/eye/foot/brain coordination), but I suppose I don't want my LT to be gathering speed down a hill screaming “No brakes! No brakes!” no matter how cinematic that might be.
$1400. Blah. The amusing (not) thing is that I just sent $1000 to Visa, thinking that would be the end of my balance. Au contraire, mon frere.
At least we have a car that works. We used to have a 1987 Chevy Caprice with serious electrical problems. The car had an unpleasant habit of just shutting off wherever you might be, most often on the tollway or some other inconvenient place like that. We used to carry lists of tow truck numbers with us everywhere. It did have loads of character, though…a big big car with the bench seats for gettin' yo freak on and an unexplained bullet hole in the hood. Thieves had tried to steal it many, many times (why?), so the steering column plastic was always ripped away. LT got sick of trying to replace it, so he finally just wrapped a huge towing chain around the column, which made it look even more bad ass.
The other good thing about that car is that we once found a jar of pimento-stuffed olives lodged inside the wheel well, like stuck inside the body of the car…turned out the trunk had a hole where errant groceries could slip through and end up in this no-man's land of rust and metal…the best part is that we swear they were the previous owner's olives, and I could not remember having purchased pimento-stuffed olives in years. The jar was wonderfully filthy, who knows how long it had been in there. I liked having a car that magically produced cocktail condiments.
We finally sold that car, to a dwarf. And his girlfriend. Who was a regular size. The whole transaction had kind of a Lynchian quality to it, but hey, they had cash.
I shouldn't complain about the $1400. Brakes are kind of important. But jeez. $1400.
That could buy a lot of olives.
—mimi “dangerously delicious” smartypants