mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for March 2013

def def girls girls

On 21 March 2013

GRANDE DOUBLE-SHOT PROMETHAZINE Why doesn’t Starbucks sell Purple Drank? Sizzurp? Lean? They would probably want to rebrand it in some special Starbucks way, maybe turn the mermaid on her side and give her x’d out cartoon eyes and some Lil Wayne-style face tattoos, but if we could get a whole demographic wedge of yuppies hooked […]

diplomatic immunity

On 9 March 2013

I need an adult training bra. There are many weekend or hockey-bleachers* situations in which my boring old B-cups do not require full-on underwire, but in which I do not feel comfortable eschewing boob coverage altogether. Sport bras don’t have underwire but that’s just too much compression and serious containment for an ordinary day. I […]

everything is fractals

On 5 March 2013

SERIAL SANDWICH This probably isn’t funny to anyone but me, but while composing a ranty email about the stupid tourist restaurants in my office neighborhood, I accidentally typed “Webern Grill” instead of “Weber Grill.” (Yes, it’s no longer just a metal orb that cooks your hamburgers in the backyard: it’s also now a crappy chain […]