mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for March 2011

get your grandma out of here

On 23 March 2011

COME GAWK AT ME I was stopped on the street for what turned out to be very complicated directions. People always ask me for directions, because I look safe. People think, “That short bespectacled woman with the gray streak on one side of her hair and the Sleater-Kinney pins on her overcoat is clearly a […]

dweeb county, usa

On 16 March 2011

UNHEALTHY When you attend a fancy fundraising event, and there is very little food in general, almost zero veg-friendly food, AND an open bar, you may find yourself in a bit of a jam the next day. I woke up early, despite the time change, because a small furry animal seemed to have used my […]

cockroach rodeo

On 11 March 2011

I see lots of young, hip women wearing tops covered in rhinestones, great big bat-wing sleeves, keyhole shoulder cutouts. Apparently this is a style. No matter how much it reminds me of a Florida retirement community. Not that I have a lot of room to snark about fashion, with my talking pants and basic black […]

chased by apes

On 4 March 2011

1. Already cranky just because of being on my way to work, and then some guy spilled coffee on me. Yeah, you’re sorry, Coffee Guy. I know you’re sorry. Sorry does not do a damn thing about my COFFEE LEG. (I did not express any of these thoughts, because I am polite. Bitter, dark-roastedly fragrant, […]