mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for July 2009

hairy potter

ATROCIOUS Yesterday was the stupidest day. I got sucked into a ridiculous power struggle with my child, with tears and shouting. She is SIX, I am THIRTY-SEVEN, who should be more mature? So that sucked because I like her and I don’t want us to be angry potatoes, and it meta-sucked because I felt badly […]

atlas debugged

NOW IS THE HOUR WHEN I AM CRYPTIC AND FUMBLING I was trying to make a metaphor about emotions using the two different types of volume control and eighty-two false starts later, I realized I cannot even describe the vehicle, much less the tenor. Okay, for instance: on my iPod Touch the little slider thing […]

global glob of glue

JAPANESE FAST FOOD Yesterday Nora was relating her summertime adventures, about how she and her sitter went to the beach ALL DAY and something about the way she said the words “all day” made me automatically reply, “You’re so pretty when you’re unfaithful to me!” Because I am damaged by having Surfer Rosa as a […]

civil disobedience

Eventually: talking to kids about why mommy is defacing a bus shelter. Also: baseball tourists and how much I hate them. But first some lists! UNSEXY THINGS I MAY HAVE ALLEGEDY SAID DURING SEXY TIMES Don’t lick my face, I just smeared it in fruit acid. This won’t take long because I’m really horny. Pretend […]

the fairness doctrine

NON-RECOMMENDATION I can’t believe the NYT called Out Stealing Horses “gripping.” Man, what a snoozer. Granted I am not a huge fan of descriptions of nature but I can sit through that if I’m assured of something eventually happening. When nothing had by page 170 I had to give up. SOMETIMES THEY ARE JUST SO […]

book beast vs. smartgirl

I am not in the mood for faithfully documenting my day-to-day, nor for fanciful brain-narration, nor even for another installment of Whoa WTF Chicago. Although today I did see someone riding on a disability scooter who was also smoking a cigarette, talking on a cell phone, sporting a new-looking (all shiny and bleedy) tattoo of […]

Fools rush in

Eight or nine years ago I bought this domain. Every time I thought about using it though, I just got so tired. I am no code monkey. Or at least I am not a decent code monkey, like a code chimpanzee or a code baboon. At the very most I might be a code marmoset, […]