mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

kick that stool right out from under you

DON'T BLAME ME

If this weblog entry does not shimmer with literary pithiness, it is because I never took the class.

THEY CALLED IT SOMETHING ELSE BACK THEN

Just got in a fight with a silly person about whether the delightful (to some) and hilarious (to all) kink of “teabagging” existed before this year. Listen, just because something is zeitgeist-fully prominent does not mean that it is “new.” Go ask your grandpa about teabagging. I'd bet money that teabagging existed before teabags did.

THINGS THAT SUCK

1. We owe a lot of money in taxes. A LOT. Now, we've owed on our tax return every year that LT has had his own business (thank goodness THAT'S over), but this amount is kind of a special amount with extra zeroes. We have the money to pay, but in my head that money was “savings” and not “owed to the government.” Don't worry, I am not turning Freeper, I like my safety nets and national parks and even, I suppose, my standing army. (Might not be thrilled about the uses to which it is put, but that's another story.) I am just bummed and irked and disconsolate to be giving all that ready cash away.

2. I had a phone conference with Nora's teacher about her in-class behavior. Basically the little lunatic does not necessarily do something the first time the teacher or her assistant says to do it, likes to get into mischief, socializes a fair bit, etc. Because it is All About Me–, here is a long and emotionally-conflicted list of how I feel about this news:

a. It is practically MAY. Are you sure we can't let this sort of stuff slide a bit? The teacher was big on how it needs to get fixed before first grade, but I just have a feeling maturity and a change of scenery will take care of it.
b. You cannot TELL me Nora is the only one in the class with these sort of developmentally appropriate “issues.” In fact, the teacher said as much.
c. Which does not mean, of course, that the teacher should do nothing about it. I've heard her ideas for reining in the NoraForce and they sound positive and fine.
d. On the one hand, I like all this teacher-parent communication. On the other, sometimes I wonder what I am supposed to do with the information. Mostly all it does is make me feel bad for Nora (because it can't be fun for her school experience to contain this much correction and scrutiny) and bad about myself (should I be doing more?)
e. To that end, I got a little choked up on the phone and was very grateful that we were not meeting face-to-face. It sucks to hear negative things about your kid.
f. Nora is a GOOD KID, DAMN IT!
g. Or am I a delusional mommy ostrich, ignoring signs of future psychopathology?
h. During the conference the teacher kept assuring me that Nora's actual work is first-rate, and that since the kids work at their own pace (for some things) she is pretty much doing third-grade math.
i. Ha! Suck it!
j. Then again, math skillz won't keep her lip zipped and her butt in the damn chair.

I am exhausted (and incoherent, apparently). Parenting anxiety and a savings account to liquidate! Please, someone put a rohypnol in my Merlot. I could use one of those total blackouts right about now.

—mimi smartypants has crawled into her blanket fort.