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mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

damned for all eternity

BAG OF FUN

I had an haircut appointment the other day and as I gathered up my stuff to leave the hairdresser started exclaiming over my funbags. Or rather, she squealed that she loved my “fun bags,” meaning my (very pedestrian) purse and my (somewhat snazzier) bookbag. It startled me a bit, because I am not ever ready to hear the term “funbags” in any context, plus I am not really a purse person so I wasn't immediately sure what she was talking about.

Snazzy bookbag is handmade and from here. Fuck, now I officially hate myself, telling the internet where I got my bag, as if I am Dooce and as if you care. But you know, props to crafty girls. Thanks for making shit.

NOTHING'S SHOCKING

Today I was reading about a psychiatric assessment that used the International Affective Picture System. No one will show you the actual set of photos online (they are supposed to be secret, sort of like the Rorschach blots), but the text said that some were neutral (pictures of household objects), some were positive (pictures of “erotic nudes”) (!), and some were negative (mutilations, scary animals). It made me wonder how “negative” the negative pictures really were, and if reactions to them would someday be skewed now that you can find all the mutilation photos you want online. And all the erotic nudes, too, but somehow I think those will never lose their appeal.

MORE KID AUTHORSHIP

Not mutilation photos exactly, but Nora did write a horror comic called THE HAM CAME TO LIFE. I like that complete-sentence title. I will transcribe the dialogue for you because it is kind of smashed together and she did not ask for any spelling help.

Title page.

Top left: A guy finds a ham and says, “Holy ham!”
Then he says: “Ahhhhh ham monster!”
Another guy says: “Say that's some nice ham”
Original guy says: “No it's the evil ham!”
Ham says: HA HA HA HA HA

(By the way, the page numbers are made to look like slices of ham. I thought that was a nice touch.)

Page 2: Super Ham! to the rescue.

Page 3: Much scribbling. This is the epic intrapork battle.

Page 4: Super Ham won the war the end.
(Evil ham has x'ed out eyes and is “throwing up” according to Nora.)

I would like to write a lot more but how do you go on after THE HAM CAME TO LIFE? Talk about feeling upstaged. I think this entry just has to end here.

—mimi smartypants described it with adjectives.


you break it you buy it mincer ray don't worry