mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?
eye for an eye for an eye for a pie
DIVISION STREET ANTHROPOLOGYThe painfully slow, ghettofabulous, #70 bus is endlessly fascinating to me, with its great eavesdropping opportunities and scenery. East of the bus route, Division is all Gold Coast frat-boy bars and pricey home stores, but at Clark and Division where the bus comes around the corner to start its journey, it's all about […]
ambled into history
I MAY BE FATIGUED AND INARTICULATE BUT I CAN MAKE LINKSFun with Nigerian scammers. Help help help oh god help. Toad orgy! If only I had a mummified cat. smartypantsmimi: Tonight I am doing something Terrifying.smartypantsmimi: I will be interacting with [name of college] alumni.harrysinai: Oh dear god. . .do you need me to fly […]
how fast it should be moving and so forth
DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ANAL HISTORYFrom a list of things to visit in Bristol: Berkely Castle, where Edward II was murdered in 1327, allegedly “With a hoote brooche through the secret place posteriale.” The full story on the possibly butt-loving monarch, Edward II. SMALL BITS OF NOTHING SPECIAL1. Thought while watching TiVo'd Sopranos: The strippers […]
underground lifestyle worms optional
It started when Mr. Ewington hurled the hamburger. Oh oh oh oh oh. I want them.The letter Q. SUPERFICIAL BOOK REVIEWS1. Positively Fifth Street: I liked the writing, but I wanted more murder and less poker. 2. Fortress of Solitude: Really good. A friend of mine thought the “magic ring” bits ruined the story, but […]
increasingly hyper game of tag
PLEASE BABY PLEASE BABY PLEASELetting a magazine subscription lapse causes a smoothie of conflicting feelings to be blended inside of me. There is the yogurt of dominatirx-esque feminine power, as the tone of the offers-to-renew goes from “lucky you, to be offered this fabulous offer!” to “my god, we're begging here. Look, see, witness how […]
out into the muffled afternoon
PERFORMANCE ART OR TODDLER ACTIVITY?1. Put large, translucent, glitter-specked pink plastic sand bucket on head so that it covers head and shoulders completely (think Valley Girl astronaut). Stagger around and chant incantatory nonsense syllables.2. One at a time, and with great deliberate seriousness, push Go Fish playing cards under the rug. Once cards are all […]
liquor in the front. poker in the rear.
I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD1. The Parthenon is mighty old2. Green grasshopper got a red asshole3. Eskimo pussy is nice and cold4. The streets in heaven are paved with gold5. You never slow down, you never grow old6. About a man named Leopold7. We take echinacea so we won't catch cold8. That shower […]
flashy dames and garish nightclubs
WORK SCHMURK1. A box was delivered to me while I toiled at my desk, and I thought hooray! This is the stuff I ordered from Barnes and Noble, using the gift card given to Nora for her birthday!I did not totally steal it from her. A picture book and the They Might Be Giants children's […]
Lincolnesque rectitude
LICK MY IVORY TOWER AND I'LL MAKE YOU BEG FOR TENUREsmartypantsmimi: I wonder if people who have written academically and theoretically about sex have trouble having sex. We should take a poll.feedmewithyrkids: That would be one of those polls where the self-selection of the sample group would really bias the results. We'd have to forcefully […]
like C-Ration Pork Slices, your brain is Cooked In Juices
Quit telling your body you are fat! Well, yeah. But not for the reasons listed here. This article freaks me out on many levels, not least being the question of agency and ownership and “I” and “my” body “listening” to “me.” It's enough to send you screaming into the night. It's enough to have you […]
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