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mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for July 2003

making a tourniquet

Yes yes. I am still here. I still feel like typing stuff and putting it up online, although god knows why, really. Occasionally I have these Crises Of Conscience– about time and life and death and wonder Why Am I Not Doing Anything Worthwhile (conveniently ignoring all the worthwhile things I actually do, because logic […]

standing at the doorway to adventure

Listen: don't you start with me. I know I talk about underwear too much. I also talk about severed heads too much, about the shifting parameters of the “self” too much, about my Corin Tucker crush too much, and about the evolution of my private jokes too much. Particularly the most serious kind of private […]

are you going to do the watusi or not?

MY FAVORITE GOOGLES OF YESTERDAYforced to dress sluttyTonight on Fox! Kidnapped And Forced To Dress Slutty! batch Hawaiian pornWhenever I have some free time, I love to mix up a batch of Hawaiian porn. The ingredients can be found in any well-stocked pantry. dung beetle disco Well you can tell by the way I crawlI'm […]

surrendering our consensual hallucination to the regime

America would be a better place if everyone dressed and acted like Prince. (The Purple One. The Artist. Whatever.) Maybe not forever and ever, because that could get tiring (not to mention hot in the summertime with all the gloves and velvet and such), but it would be so great if the entire country participated […]

pack your bags, gang: we're going up my mom's ass!

I highly recommend these mp3s of a 1940s Christian sex education record. Here's one reason why I am not on the Howard Dean bandwagon. Besides the fact that I tend to eschew most bandwagons. ALL FIZZY AND READY TO EXPLODE1. Yesterday, step off the bus on my street, waiting for the light to change, looking […]

rhymes with engine

I have a drinking problem. Okay, really it is more of a sipping problem. For the third time today I have tried to bring my bottle of bottled water to my lips and ended up getting water on my chin, neck, or shirt. Which is refreshing, but not hydrating, since humans are mostly waterproof. (Wait, […]

baby baby baby wants an empire

DO YOU ENJOY SMALL THINGS?Like maybe radiolarians? Or coccolithophores? I am reading The Self-Made Tapestry, by Philip Ball, and it is making me really happy. I am having a ball. A Philip Ball! (Okay, that was bad.) I disagree with the Publisher's Weekly review that this book is “inaccessible to nonscientists”—although I edit science, I […]

when in Rome, talk about Rome a lot

JULY IS THE MONTH WHERE I TALK ABOUT SEX TOO MUCHI think I may be a selfish lover. My eroticism is squarely on the autistic side, so when I nibble and bite and lick your shoulder, or neck, or some other bit of you for over twenty minutes, I am really just taking care of […]

skip to my lou, please

IT IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HORRIBLE DREAMHi, my name is Mimi, and I have a hole in my pants. And I am at work. Unless someone bends me over a desk to do unspeakable things to me, the huge hole is unlikely to be noticed, since it is kind of up in there and […]

whiskers and eyes and ears

TUBULAR MEATExploding hot dogs. Keyword: “fizzing.” I am going to have nightmares now. But this is great news for suicide bombers who cannot afford plastic explosive, and who are not so sure about the whole “suicide” thing, and who are instead considering making their point in a hail of smelly meat. Not my kind of […]

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