mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for May 2003

blow it out your hairdo because you work at Hardee's

FRIDAY WORD SALADAfter today I swear I will quit quoting ancient medical textbooks at you. That is a promise from me to you, and you can come smack me over the head with the biggest heaviest ancient medical textbook you can find if I am lying. Herman Boerhaave (what a name!) wrote this book called […]

rollerskate jam

I think I may be getting crazier. For one thing, I am talking to myself a lot more. (Of course, one could argue that this very web page is the ultimate expression of “talking to myself,” in which case I have been extra super hypercrazy since late 1999.)LT was out at his Chinese class last […]

the illustrious history of the goober pea

It has been a while. Why? Long weekend. Long even for the standard American Memorial Day weekend, since I also took today off to work on a project. And to be slack. For instance, what have I done today? Well, I took a two-hour nap, and just now I cracked open an Old Style tallboy. […]

and still the boards did shrink

IT'S A SPECIAL DAYWhy? Because I now have beaten the computer in Scrabble (played on my PDA) five games in a row, without taking a single hint, on the computer's second-dumbest Scrabble level. And all this without having gotten my ass in gear and properly memorizing the two-letter words, as I keep saying I will. […]

urge overspill

I have a hard enough time noticing what clothes are put on my body in the morning, much less underwear. I own all kinds of underwear, spanning the spectrum from the much-washed and much-stretched to the occasional thongs to the goofy patterned stuff. But even if you have a lot of underwear, you are pretty […]

all the world's a stage we're going through

A RATING OF GLASSES OF WATER AT VARIOUS BARS THAT I MENTION HERE ALL THE TIME, PROBABLY TOO MUCH, PROBABLY GIVING YOU A SKEWED VIEW OF HOW I REALLY SPEND MY TIME, BUT OH WELL THAT'S THE INTERNET, AND IF YOU THINK I AM SOME SORT OF GLAMOROUS DRINKY DRUNKY PARTY GIRL I SUPPOSE THERE […]

rabble-rousing wake up rabble

ROUTE ONE FIFTY-FIVEYou really haven't lived until you have sat near a fat Pakistani guy wearing a Bon Jovi SLIPPERY WHEN WET t-shirt, jeans that are sliding down his rear end, and a strange too-small navy-blue sailor hat. He is shouting on the cell phone in hysterical Urdu, and eating directly from a box of […]

my anger subsides, I'd like to pee

A COLLECTION OF PUNY SCRAPS, ALMOST AS IF I THOUGHT I HAD A WEBLOG1. It's time for the Perfect Math-Related Cheer!Tangent, secant, cosine, sine! 3.14159!There is more but I forget. I love the nerdy chants. At the one football game I ever attended in college (my school, at least the way I remember it through […]

war-surplus gondola parts

FIVE SHORT ITEMS ABOUT NACHOS1. From an article on the OED and nachos. I still had not found a pre-1969 quote. It was 'browsing time' in the LC cookery collection and I limited this search to the class number assigned to Texan cuisine. Several 1965+ quotations surfaced, and eventually I found A Taste of Texas, […]

metallic oblong

HERE, HAVE SOME LINKSFree brochure about cherry juice. Lots of rhubarb info at, well, rhubarbinfo.com. Make them dance. Hooray! More wacky medical theories! The WWII war crime no one seems to acknowledge. MAGIC SLATEWhen I have not updated for a while, updating this page seems like a big deal. Which is totally ridiculous, since nothing […]

← Before