mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

twilight of my wrists

It's peanut butter jelly time.

It really is. I had a craving for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, something I rarely eat but as I said before my mouth is regressing and I'm all about the oatmeal and the childish sandwiches these days. I had the sandwich mostly done, up to and including the peanut butter stage (this takes longer than you might think because I am obsessed with symmetry and with achieving precisely even density and thickness), when I discovered that we have no jelly in the house. So honey had to stand in and be my peanut butter's sugary sidekick: okay but not quite what I was planning.

And this is probably going to make you gag, but for me the perfect peanut-butter-sandwich beverage is a big fizzy Coke. I cannot drink a glass of milk (I find milk repulsive…okay for cereal and not much else), and soda + peanut butter conjures up pleasant memories of going to the zoo in the summertime. I would pack a lunch and my mom would let me get a soda from the machine, a rare treat.

Okay, it's not Proust and madelines, but it's the best I can do right now.

More evidence of Nick-and-Nora aspirations: I was up before LT this morning, computering and drinking tea, and when he walked into the room we talked for a while and he commented, “You've sobered up beautifully.” A nice compliment. I admit to having some gaps from last night. I meant to take it nice and easy but beers kept appearing in my hand. I know there was some arm wrestling, and I think I may have insulted a guy who was wearing vinyl jogging pants.

However, there is no excuse for vinyl jogging pants, so I stand by my inebriated statement.

OTHER THINGS I HAVE DONE TODAY

Laughed/winced at this guy's take on the 6ODUM art-music scene here in Chicago.

Went out to breakfast with my mom/family at Ann Sather. Mysteriously, my parents paid. Isn't it supposed to be Mother's Day or something?

Learned that sharks get hungry for people flesh at around 2 pm. A very typical needing-a-snack time. Who can blame them?

Took a kind of fretful teeth-grinding nap, and dreamed that I was wearing dryer connector hose on my arms.

Cleaned up cat vomit. My cat seemed determined to barf in every room today. Can't you stay still and barf, kitty?

QUOTES AND LINKS, BRING OUT YOUR DEAD

The drugs they sold on the street were bad but “Finnegans Wake” would mess up your mind if you read it aloud nonstop while drinking Budweiser.

Kappa is a mythical gnome who loves cucumbers.

Unwholesome bears.

MY ARM

Taken in my hotel room in San Diego (that explains the hideous carpet). Don't I look tough? Grrrr.

—mimi smartypants is secretly in love with everyone.