pride and prejudice
A friend of mine is newly divorced, and he's starting to think about dating, so he goes out, and meets women, and gives me little synopses about what they talked about, and tells me whether or not they exchanged business cards, and what her reaction was to certain things he said, and asks my advice on whether he made the right move or said the right thing or made an ass out of himself. I try to be supportive and interested, but this is all very, very tiring for me.
I am just about the worst person to ask about dating and all its myriad rules and regulations, the reason being that I suck at it. I am incredibly lucky to have met and moved in with and eventually married LT, because I am so very lame when it comes to dating. See, here's my problem. I Don't Like People.
No, that's wrong. I like people, I like lots of people. But I have a hard time meeting people, especially in party or bar settings, because either I am tipsy and fabulous and glib and flirtatious, or I am serious and introspective and brainy and sarcastic. Both of these are part of my true personality, but neither tells the whole story (and, incidentally, both are independent of alcohol consumption. I can be completely sober and also be tipsy and fabulous and glib and flirtatious, and vice versa).
Also, I tend to only really get to like (or not like) a person after about the second or third time we hang out. It's rare for me to click with somebody instantaneously, because either I'm in a mood (see above) or I'm suspicious that they are not being genuine with me, or I just want to wait and see what sort of person they are. Nothing is worse than thinking someone is really cool and finding out shortly thereafter that he or she is a complete idiot. I wish I could trust my first impressions more, but I’ve been wrong too many times. Better to take it slow.
However, I do have a wonderful story about meeting someone for the first time. I went to a party and one of the other guests had brought his roommate. When we were introduced, he looked familiar, and I said so. “You look familiar,” I said. He immediately asked, “Are you an interior decorator?”
I laughed for about 10 minutes. What a thing to say to someone you just met. I'm still not sure what he meant by that.
Oh, by the way, the couch would look much better over here.
—mimi smartypants