mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for October 2000

pride and prejudice

A friend of mine is newly divorced, and he's starting to think about dating, so he goes out, and meets women, and gives me little synopses about what they talked about, and tells me whether or not they exchanged business cards, and what her reaction was to certain things he said, and asks my advice […]

the economy-sized can of worms

The Time I Got to Pretend I Was He-Manby mimi smartypantsThere was a summer during college when, instead of going home, I stayed in the tiny town where my college was (is) located. I had a very non-demanding campus job and a very non-demanding town job. I stayed on campus, in a big old cooperative […]

in which I shake my moneymaker

No news story can mention Bahrain without mentioning its size. It's always “the tiny Gulf emirate of Bahrain.” Yes, I know. I used to live there. You can drive across the country in about a half an hour.Still, it must get on Bahrainis' nerves, if indeed they care a fig how they are presented in […]

I'm a cranky old coot

Someone has wind chimes in the office down the hall and it's making me grit my teeth. I am convinced that owning/enjoying wind chimes is a mark of insanity. What in the world would make someone enjoy a random tinkling noise?My apologies to those of you who are wind chime owners. For the record, I […]

oh how the mighty have fallen

A recent CDC report we're publishing has 15 people reporting gastroenteritis after playing in an “interactive fountain.” I'm scared.What is an “interactive fountain”? I hope to god it’s not a fancy name for “urinal.” Probably not. The hardest job in the WWF (yes, I'm back on that again: it's a strange fascination) has got to […]

the limits of what is known

I’m still not in the mood to faithfully document my current existence. My apologies to those of you who miss the “here’s what I did today” stuff. I just don't feel like it.Actual conversation betwixt me and my mother:“Did you get my package?”“No, not yet.”“Oh. Well, I sent you something small.”“A neutrino?”“Not that small.”I got […]

mimi gets metaphysical

I’m kind of tired today.Some observations.A guy riding the bus in a suit always looks a tiny bit out of place to me, whereas there's nothing noteworthy about a guy riding the subway in a suit. Why is that?The Ramones always seem to want something or not want something. “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.” “I […]

don't pet the sweaty things

I love living in the city. I love public transit. I ask very little of public transit. I ask that men not masturbate or show me their packages (see earlier entries). I ask that if people absolutely feel that they must spit, they at least do so on the floor and not on the bus […]

vinegar pants

Is it pretentious of me to be depressed over the Israel/Palestine situation? Because I am, I think. Slightly. Depressed, that is.Sorry. It occurs to me that I've never seen the movie Titanic. I don't know why, I just missed it. It was on cable the other night when I was flipping channels and I watched […]

I'll tell you once again [who's bad?]

“I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.”—English Professor, Ohio UniversityI don't know whether this comment was really made or if it's some sort of college urban legend, but as an editor I appreciate it.I was at the […]

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