mimi smartypants
Seriously, though: what's with the penguins?

Archive for January 2000

blah. blah. blah.

On 31 January 2000

Now I have all tax documents in hand, and LT and I can enter the wonderful world of tax forms. Last year we went to H & R Block or some sort of walk-in place like that; this year we might have to bite the bullet and get a real accountant or buy MacInTax or […]

alcohol, tobacco, but not firearms

On 28 January 2000

You know what, I've decided not to follow up on my story about the mysterious feminine hygiene product. Yes, I know, I'm a tease. But I decided it was neither interesting nor as amusing as it seemed at the time. So never mind.Today I am bored, but I am wearing leopard-print tights. So at least […]

that amphibian needs an enema!

On 27 January 2000

OK, so here's the best argument for having cable television I can possibly think of. (Again, the sentence ends with the preposition. Aren't you proud of me?) Last night, on some “ER” style show on the Animal Planet channel, I watched a turtle get an enema. No kidding. This lady took her turtle to the […]

film babble

On 25 January 2000

Man, I'm at work and somebody's lunch smells really good (I almost wrote that the lunch SOUNDS good. As if they had described it to me, or as if the lunch itself was making a sound. What is the sound of one lunch steaming?). I think it's a tuna melt. I haven't had a good […]

he's the king of pop, and don't you forget it

On 24 January 2000

I really like this word, “groin.”I think maybe I'll move to Groinland and subscribe to Moist Groin magazine. Maybe I'll sign my children up for Groin Scouts. I could even volunteer to be the Denmother. I'll make groinmeal cookies for a snack.On second thought, isn't “moist groin” redundant? I'm not sure if it's just that […]

in which I make a mountain out of a molehill

On 19 January 2000

I am having a shit day at work. In particular, I am totally fed up with people for whom Nothing Is Their Fault. A few weeks ago, via e-mail, I ask a certain (in-house, by the way) person to handle something. It is not handled. Now we are in a panic at the last minute […]

up too early and can't even rap about it

On 18 January 2000

In her ever-present quest to make me read science fiction, Kat purchased me 2 Sheri Tepper (her fave, I guess) for my birthday. I'm reading one of them now. It's not bad. It's certainly not good, however.I just can't get into science fiction. It always seems to think it's smarter than it is. And not […]

monkey penis

On 17 January 2000

Of course, now that delicious andrew decided to “feature” my diary, I have had no time to update, and I feel all guilty and squishy inside. Unworthy of being featured. Feh.After work today I'm going to go get my eyes checked. Is it just me or do you get really nervous when they do that […]

a mouthful of zinc

On 11 January 2000

I just bought zinc supplements at the health food store. Zinc is very good for you. (It's also fun to say. Zinc. Zinc.) I take zinc supplements and you should too. I found out that you can also get the US Recommended Daily Allowance of zinc by simply giving 3 blowjobs a day and swallowing, […]

a whole lot of yapping into the void

On 10 January 2000

ho de ho de ho. Got rid of our houseguest, so we can now have sex, loudly. Unfortunately we got all kinds of phone calls last night and I ended up falling asleep while LT talked to various people. And I cannot be woken up out of a deep sleep for sex. I mean, there […]